SCARED!!

" 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, "Thus says the Lord!"

 

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

O for grace to trust Him more!

 

 

I woke up with this song on my mind this morning and I've been walking around the house humming it and singing it in my heart and saying to myself "Nne mehn, you've got this! Trust in him, he has never and will never fail you".

 

Yes, I am scared.  Exactly 4 weeks ago today on 10/21/13, I was given the greatest shock ever.  I was diagnosed with cancer of the left breast after having a normal mammogram 5/2013.  I "incidentally" found a lump which for all intents & purposes was supposed to be a benign cyst.  Since then I've had a lumpectomy and the cancerous tumor has been removed and I await starting chemo & radiation.

 

Why am I scared today?  I'm only human you know.  Today, 11/21/13 at 11 am, I will undergo a MRI guided breast biopsy of the "right breast".  Yes.  Now on the opposite side, there is a lump which is "questionable".  I believe, I am optimistic & faithful that I will receive wonderful news next week telling me that it is negative.  Not cancerous.  But yes, I am scared.  I know & have always believed that God will not give me a burden I cannot bear. So no matter what the outcome may be, I trust in him.  But yes, I am only human, I AM SCARED. I still have swelling & soreness to my left breast from undergoing surgery 3 weeks ago and now I am going to have some soreness to the right breast today from having the biopsy.  That junk hurts man!!! Having holes punched into your breast???  It's not cool beans at all, at all!  Not that I'm a "wuss", but it is the psychological aspect of it.  "Here we go again, what am I going to be told next week?" When I had the first biopsy, I was sore, but my biggest issue was not being able to take a shower for 24 hours (and I had to work the next day).  24 WHOLE HOURS!! (Ummm, Naija babes don't joke with their daily showers. HABA!)

 

I continue to beseech you all for prayers.  Not just for me, but for my husband, my parents, my children, my siblings, my in-laws, my family & my friends.  Everyone has been so worried about me, making sure to hold me up and help me keep a positive outlook; staying strong for me.  But I know that behind the scenes, in their hearts they are worried also.  I pray for God to bless and uphold them as they triumphantly march along with me in this battle.

 

Yolanda Adams sang;

"This too shall pass, Like every night that's come before it,

  He'll never give you more than you can bear,

This too shall pass, So in this thought you'd be comforted. For it's in His hands;

This too shall pass".

 

Thank you for all the prayers, well-wishes and continuous words of encouragement.  The Lord has heard your cries and supplications and I know that he will continue to do so.  I pray today that all of you, remain blessed.  For those who are suffering from different crises today; the Lord will not give you more than you can bear.  Take heart, be encouraged; THIS TOO SHALL COME TO PASS!

Thanks for sharing this "voyage" with me. God bless.

 

Chidinma

 

p.s.  Please check your breasts.  Remind your girlfriends, sister-friends, lady-friends, wives, mothers, sisters.  Spread the word, BREAST CANCER IS HIGHLY CURABLE IF CAUGHT ON TIME.  If your 40 & up, go have your mammogram, if you're under 40 or above, learn how to perform the breast self examination.  Go for your annual physical examination.  Your body is your temple.  Take care of it. God helps those who help themselves.