The Waiting Game

"He breaks every fetter, he breaks every chain; that's why I don't mind waiting on the Lord" (Juanita Bynum).

"I don't mind waiting, I don't mind waiting, I don't mind waiting on the Lord". I've had this song in my head all night.  I went to bed exhausted, frustrated at what I deem as slow progress but in medical reality is "everything going according to schedule and working quickly.

I am an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse (Nurse Practitioner) by trade. I'm the one in the white coat with the fancy stethoscope hanging around my neck, talking to the patient, assessing, diagnosing trying to empathize, sympathize, listening etc.  For the past 3.5 weeks, I've had to put my profession to the side and be the one sitting on that exam table.  I am now the patient.  It is for sure a humbling experience.  Sitting waiting for the Doctor, in the hospital gown, praying to hear encouraging news, praying to be able to hold strong.... It is humbling.

So, here we are 2 weeks after having the lumpectomy.  Slow & steady progress?  I guess.  I was really pissed off yesterday.  My insurance company denied the PET scan ordered by my Surgical Oncologist to evaluate my body for cancer as a suspicious "spot" was found in the opposite breast. It was denied because I have early stage cancer.  It's not advanced (can you imagine that kind nonsense. So make I have advanced stage cancer so dey go approve test which go check make sure no cancer dey any other area of my body.  Chineke kpokwa ha oku!!!)  That's alright.  They can take the PET scan and shove it.  Thank God it's not advanced.  Here I am trying to deal with the fact that the left breast "had" cancer and now there is a questionable spot in the right one???? Then insurance company has the nerve to deny the test.  So this means that next week I have to go for a biopsy of the right breast.  I'll get the result of it the day before Thanksgiving (prayers continually requested). I've met with the Radiation Oncologist to discuss radiation,  have an appointment with the Medical oncologist to discuss chemotherapy; and I have to wait.  Wait to fully heal from surgery..Wait until treatment starts..  I'm in no rush to start.  Let me stop lying to myself I am in a rush.  I want to get things going, I want to put this behind me and move on.

Tomorrow,  I am going to Houston, TX to celebrate with my lovely cousin Ugonna, who is having a graduation celebration.  I'll be meeting up with my cousins there, the cuzzo's from Chicago and a bunch of friends and family whom I have not seen in ages.  I'm excited because  I'M ALIVE, I'M BLESSED, I'M FULLY FUNCTIONAL. I am waiting.  I will keep on singing "I don't mind waiting on the Lord".  All things will happen according to his will, according to his plan.  Oge Chi ka nma.  Thank you always for the prayers, well-wishes and support.  God bless you all.  Until next time, stay well.

Chidinma

p.s. Ladies, when did you last check your breasts?
      Guys, when did she last check her breasts?  Ask her.  Encourage her.  Do it for her.