I had a lumpectomy on Thursday. The tumor was bigger than expected and the surgeons had to take out more tissue than expected, also took out some lymph-nodes. I HURT!! I have my arm in a sling, I have a drain coming out of the incision area. I have on a surgical bra with gauze stuffed in it. IT HURTS.
My sister Ezinna, God bless her, has been my personal nurse. She helped take down the dressing and I saw the swelling, the bruising, the distortion. I turned my head away. I looked again, stared at it. I wept. It hit me. THIS IS FOR REAL!!! I do have the big "C". I have tried to keep positive, I have had enormous support and the prayers have been rained upon me. But this is now my reality. I have cancer. This is just the first step. Next week I go to find out what stage this is and what kind of treatment I will have to have.
Last night as I slept, I jumped up in pain, I had yanked on the drain. I wept. This is my reality.
My darling best friend who as far as I am concerned is more fierce and more brave than I am as she has had a severe, deteriorating, debilitating health condition for the past few years; called me this evening and told me to keep my head up and remain faithful and had me read Psalms 91 to her hearing. I felt peaceful, I remembered that although my journey is just beginning, I DO NOT WALK ALONE.
The anesthesiology team and surgeons that took care of me in the OR were great. I came in with a request. I asked Katy Perry's "Roar" be played as I drifted off into lala land. It was played over the speakers for me and I got to sing out load with some of the staff singing along with me and bopping their heads. The last thing I remember is singing "I got the eye of a tiger, fighter, dancing through the fire, cause I am a CHAMPION AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR!"
Going mental is not an option. I'm not unrealistic, I will have my moments, I will cry, I'll be sad; but I will not crawl into a corner and feel sorry for myself and feel despondent. Listen out cancer; I AM THAT CHAMPION, DO YOU HEAR THAT ROARING? TI'S ME CHIDINMA UGONNAYA ANOSIKE-BYRON. Ogadicha nma. You have no power over me. Wharreva, wharreva, you will not succeed!
10 comments:
I will be praying for you.
Thank you so much techilliterate! God bless you.
It is well Agum! The Lord is your strength and fortress; whom shall you fear? Keep up the good spirit,and continue being your jovial self. With God all things are possible. I will keep praying for you. Chidinma Ochiobi
We are praying for you! We starting a nine days Novena pray on divine mercy for you. The priests are praying you and they sent their regards. We love you so much. Ofuobi k' anyi ji eje.
such a brave woman! luv u and am keeping you prayed up!
You are been refined for a greater purpose. This pain is only temporary and you , princess of our living God, all weapons that fall against you shall not harm you. Angels are at your side , no harm shall befall you. It's quite ok to cry! allow that emotion to be there. That why you got family and friends. Praying for you. hugs and Kisses.
Nnenna Pastor
Seeing the fresh incision does cause a reality check. You realize this is me. This is my body. You jumped and cleared a hurdle today. Proud of you and ur strong countenance.
Not to worry Chidinma. Melody asks that I send you her regards and best wishes for quick and complete recovery. Our prayers are with you. The Eleles
Ozichi Nkire: Da Chidinma you will beat this. This month of November 2013 has been declared the month of Testimony in my church. In this very month God will have mercy and compassion on you and will perfect the healing He has begun in you. In this mobth of November 2013 you will share your testimony on how you beat cancer. I just heard yesterday... my mom told me. Honestly, i thought you were just advising us to perform breast self examination.. I'm so sorry Im just reading your blog. I will pray for you. You are loved and the prayers to heaven on your behalf will have no measure. My mom loves you, so do I. While speaking to me last night she told me that whenever you saw her at a function, you embraced her and she added "she's my friend". We love you Daa and will call you once we get your number. God is in control. He will neither leave nor forsake you in Jesus' Name AMEN!!!!! Love you.
Chidi, the joy of the Lord is your strength. The pain is just temporary. The battle is God's. He will perfect the good work that he started. We are praying for you. Continue to hold up your faith. .....you will live and will proclaim what the Lord has done.
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